Can we heal our own brains? Maybe!

This is a touching story of a Mom fighting for her son and working to help him achieve his best potential. I love the idea of neuroplasticy. I have only just begun learning more about it, but I think it's so awesome. The science is there that proves we can retrain our brains to do things that they once could, but now can't, or things it hasn't ever been able to do. So cool!

http://ldsmag.com/faith-to-heal-the-brain/#.VPiuUNw0ZU0.facebook

Looking Beyond the Mark

I have struggled to keep up with so many things that I want to do. It's made me be very hard on myself, to constantly see so many things left undone on my list of ToDo's at the end of every day. I'll have an occasional "wonder woman" type of day every once in a while, where I feel like I've gotten a ton done. But those days leave me drained and tired and set me back to be more behind the next day since I totally deplete myself of energy and focus. But something I've been thinking about that came to my mind a week or so ago, was that my real struggle isn't with keeping up, its with expectations. I get so caught up in the things that don't matter, or even the things that do matter, but don't matter most, that I miss a lot of what does matter most. For example; Sundays are very stressful for me. I grew up in a home, where the house was always cleaned and spotless on Saturday nights, to prepare for Sunday, the day of rest. And though this still matters to me, I'm starting to see where I've looked beyond the mark and worn myself out, causing me to miss the most important things about Sunday. Having the house clean is still important to me. But when having a perfect house by Saturday night becomes the standard by which I measure my happiness on Sunday, ability to make it to church, or ability to enjoy my loved ones, then I'm looking beyond the mark. I'm putting so much of my energy into making the house perfect for Sunday in the hopes that it will make Sunday perfect, that it leaves me too tired to enjoy what's good and perfect about Sunday. So having this in my mind this week, I've been practicing focusing on the most important, instead of all the details that I've tried to perfect to make the most important things be perfect. So last night, we got home and got the kids to bed and the house was a mess. It was Saturday night and clutter was everywhere. However, I had spent the previous couple days making sure that we all had clean outfits for Sunday and that the kids had a couple activities to bring along with them to keep them still during church. My initial instinct was to stress out and ask Eric for help, demanding that Sunday would be bad again if we didn't get the house clean for once! But I fought the urge and felt some relief. I knew I had clean outfits for everyone. So regardless of what my house looked like, I could make it to church with my family. This thought brought me a lot of comfort. I woke up before everyone else on Sunday and the urge was still there to focus on cleaning first, and getting ready for church second. Saying things like "I can't come home to a filthy house after church," or "What if someone stops by after church and I haven't cleaned everything up?" But I stopped myself again. And I said "I can make it to church if I get everyone ready on time, whether the house is clean or not. But I Can't make it to church if I run out of time cleaning everything." So I decided to focus on getting ready first, and cleaning second. Of course, nothing goes perfectly as planned and I was left with zero extra time to clean after everyone was dressed and ready. But I challenged myself again. And said, "ok everyone, lets get going so we can be on time. We'll straighten up when we get home." Again, the decision to accept imperfection brought me relief. Because every time you accept something that's imperfect, you are no longer a slave to the idea of it's perfect version or ideal. When we got home from church, the kids were a little cranky and I was sore because I hurt my back, but I just said "Ok, lets straighten up some before lunch. It doesn't have to be perfect, but lets clear some clutter so it's not so crazy later to deal with." Everyone helped out and we cleaned up the kitchen and front room so we could have some lunch. The house was still far from perfect, but it's imperfection didn't keep us from enjoying our favorite things about Sunday. We made it to church. We enjoyed each other's company. We watched a show. We read a book together. And it was wonderful! And I wasn't too exhausted from perfecting the house, to enjoy all of it. I'm not discounting anyone's goal for having a clean house on Saturday night. But for my current stage in life right now, with some of my limitations, it's not going to happen every week. But I can enjoy Sundays every week if I let go of the unrealistic expectations of perfection for myself.

Socialized to be perfect?

Speaking from both the female and perfectionist perspectives, I agree with this! Whether its just the way we're raised, or if biology plays a factor, we as females are too hard on ourselves and scared to speak up and move forward on things because we don't want to fail or seem bad in any way. What could we do if we were ok with imperfections?

Stress

I have often struggled with feeling like stress was a representation of something bad, and I needed to fix it or get away from it. I LOVE the insight in this, showing that our view of stress is actually what determines it's affect on us.

Feeling too much?

Have you ever been accused of feeling too much? Or being too dramatic? I have. In fact I have had a lot of shame because of it. Love this video by Mayim Bialik, giving her view and insight into why it's a strength to feel a lot and why others sometimes have a problem with it.